Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
