No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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