Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
