You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
