office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
