Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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