So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
