its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
