I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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