I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
