The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
