I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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