Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
