if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
