he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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