Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
