We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
