I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
