I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Randomize
