You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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