Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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