I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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