You just made me feel so damn special
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
