im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
