I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
