I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
