But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
