Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
