Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
...so i touched it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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