I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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