she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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