Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
