question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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