oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
