aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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