so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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