I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Did we literally take a cab across the street
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
