Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
false alarm, still single
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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