Your face is a jimmy john
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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