I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
