Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
