Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
