I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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