The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
