I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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