1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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