I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
