Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
