I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
