It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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