is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
