So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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