420 ftw
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
