I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
