I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
