my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
