Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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