she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
