I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
